goddamnit. i keep reading stories about people whose family accepts them and supports them and it just… ugh i know i shouldn’t be jealous. i wish my family could accept and support me but it just doesn’t work that way. it hurts so much. i am not a family secret i am not something to be ashamed of…
11 The Aims of GI’s Anatomy - (2:14)
Catherine McNamara and Jay Stewart, Directors of Gendered Intelligence, talking about the aims of the GI’s Anatomy project.
To follow updates of our GI’s Anatomy project as it happens, follow the GI’s Anatomy tumblr!
When: June 3 to 8, 2013.
Where: Berlin, Germany
Cost: FREE for successful applicants. Travel costs (up to 250 euro, more may be considered on a need-basis) & accommodation covered.
Apply online here (Deadline February 3rd)
From the pool of applicants, …
11 SHIT PEOPLE SAY TO INTERSEX PEOPLE.
My contribute to the popular meme.
Most of this is based off what people have said to me.
Fusion of the labia. Please disregard the “normal” label on the picture of “typical labial fusion”. It’s all fucking normal. Also the arrow labeled “clitoris” could just as easily be labeled penis or cliterophallus, and should be considered all three. They’re all the same thing anyway.
Sex and body positivity are loving and appreciating ALL bodies. People are born at all staged “in between” male and female. And all of these bodies are beautiful and sexy.
-Zane
Here’s a progression of genitals in pictures I found on the internet. There are steps skipped of course, and tons of variations because our genitals aren’t discrete, they’re a continuum and even mix and match!!! I couldn’t post anymore so I’ll put some more up in a second post.
Keep in mind, ‘penis’ and ‘clitoris’ are binarist terms that imply no in between and that imply a vast difference between the two, which doesn’t exist. Not everyone calls there bits by the medical terminaology, so some of these smaller ones might be dicks/penises/cocks, and some of the bigger ones might be clits/clitorises.
I also posted some pictures multiple times for a couple of reasons. One, these pictures are rare because they usually get erased through surgery and stigma, and people need to see that it exists and that is isn’t in fact as uncommon as society makes it out to be.
Love your body!!! There are all shapes and sizes and they’re all beautiful and healthy and wonderful!!!
Sex and body positivity are loving and appreciating ALL bodies. People are born at all staged “in between” male and female. And all of these bodies are beautiful and sexy.
-Zane
I am sure every girl can recall, at least once as a child, coming home and telling their parents, uncle, aunt or grandparent about a boy who had pulled her hair, hit her, teased her, pushed her or committed some other playground crime. I will bet money that most of those, if not all, will tell you that they were told “Oh, that just means he likes you”. I never really thought much about it before having a daughter of my own. I find it appalling that this line of bullshit is still being fed to young children. Look, if you want to tell your child that being verbally and/or physically abused is an acceptable sign of affection, i urge you to rethink your parenting strategy. If you try and feed MY daughter that crap, you better bring protective gear because I am going to shower you with the brand of “affection” you are endorsing.
When the fuck was it decided that we should start teaching our daughters to accept being belittled, disrespected and abused as endearing treatment? And we have the audacity to wonder why women stay in abusive relationships? How did society become so oblivious to the fact that we were conditioning our daughters to endure abusive treatment, much less view it as romantic overtures? Is this where the phrase “hitting on girls” comes from? Well, here is a tip: Save the “it’s so cute when he gets hateful/physical with her because it means he loves her” asshattery for your own kids, not mine. While you’re at it, keep them away from my kids until you decide to teach them respect and boundaries.
My daughter is `10 years old and has come home on more than one occasion recounting an incident at school in which she was teased or harassed by a male classmate. There has been several times when someone that she was retelling the story to responded with the old, “that just means he likes you” line. Wrong. I want my daughter to know that being disrespected is NEVER acceptable. I want my daughter to know that if someone likes her and respects her, much less LOVES her, they don’t hurt her and they don’t put her down. I want my daughter to know that the boy called her ugly or pushed her or pulled her hair didn’t do it because he admires her, it is because he is a little asshole and assholes are an occurrence of society that will have to be dealt with for the rest of her life. I want my daughter to know how to deal with assholes she will encounter throughout her life. For now, I want my daughter to know that if someone is verbally harassing her, she should tell the teacher and if the teacher does nothing, she should tell me. If someone physically touches her, tell the teacher then, if it continues, to yell, “STOP TOUCHING/PUNCHING/PUSHING ME” in the middle of class or the hallway, then tell me. Last year, one little boy stole her silly bandz from her. He just grabbed her and yanked a handful of them off of her wrist. When I went to the school to address the incident, the teacher smiled and explained it away to her, in front of me, “he probably has a crush on you”. Okay, the boy walked up to my daughter, grabbed and held her by the arm and forcibly removed her bracelets from her as she struggled and you want to convince her that she should be flattered? Fuck off. I am going to punch you in the face but I hope you realize it is just my way of thanking you for the great advice you gave my daughter. If these same advice givers’ sons came home crying because another male classmate was pushing them, pulling their hair, hitting them or calling them names, I would bet dollars to donuts they would tell him to defend themselves and kick the kid’s ass, if necessary. They sure as shit wouldn’t say, “he probably just wants a play date”.
I will teach my daughter to accept nothing less than respect. Anyone who hurts her physically or emotionally doesn’t deserve her respect, friendship or love. I will teach my boys the same thing as well as the fact that hitting on girls doesn’t involve hitting girls. I can’t teach my daughter to respect herself if I am teaching her that no one else has to respect her. I can’t raise sons that respect women, if I teach them that bullying is a valid expression of affection.
The next time that someone offers up that little “secret” to my daughter, I am going to slap the person across the face and yell, “I LOVE YOU”.
You Didn’t Thank Me For Punching You in the Face « Views from the Couch (via plightofthepretty)
I actually did not have this experience growing up as a little girl, I was perceived to be too effeminate, girly, gay, sensitive, and overdramatic. I was picked on for these qualities, tormented, bullied, harassed. I was told by teachers to not be this way, I even had teachers try to “condition” it out of me. I was read as and assigned to be a boy, and because I was not boyish enough, I dealt with ridicule and hate. Over the past few years I have experienced this, victim blaming, slut shaming, girls = sexual objects sort of treatment. Not every girl has the same experience growing up. The notion that being a woman is a universal experience is a hurtful and oppressive one, and this particular commentary is very American centered perspective and leaves out other women in other cultures as well. That’s not to say it isn’t true that many girls in America grow up with this bullshit oppression, but it’s important to recognize it’s not the only, or even the most common narrative among all women, and that there are women from other parts of the world, and within this country who go through something a bit different.
(via tactlessmalcontent)
When you start dating someone, how do you explain your physical condition to them? When do you explain it, right at the beginning, or do you wait until you get to the point where you might see each other naked? Do they usually freak out or handle it well? -Anonymous
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“Telling” is a complicated issue, both in the intersex community, and in the trans community. I don’t believe it should be necessary or that you should ever have to tell someone. If you’re not an intersex person, or a trans person, you don’t say “Hey by the way, I was born with genitals that looks like this, and a body that looks like this, and I identify as dyadic (non-intersex) and cisgender (non-trans)” So why should an intersex person or a trans person have to go through all of that. Also, if you get to like a person and you’re to the point that you want to sleep with them, and then you change your mind just because their body or genitals look differently than YOU EXPECTED them to, it’s kind of fucked up, shallow, and discriminatory. Unfortunately there are some practical concerns, and people are NOT that understanding or humane. People feel threatened by intersex and trans bodies. Our mere existence make people uncomfortable and make people question their sexual orientation and their identity and no amount of explaining or rationale or logic will ever get them to see how ridiculous and oppressive that is. So, many of us have to find ways to “tell” in order to protect ourselves and keep safe safe. Some people like to tell in a public place, because often men will feel threatened, deceived, and manipulated, and as though they’ve been “coerced or tricked into being gay”, and sometimes they get violent. I personally have had partners make me feel guilty over my body, and tell me things that implied they were afraid of me simply because of the way my body looks and functions. I’ve had partners break up with me because they felt it threatened or contradicted their sexual identity. I’ve had people ignore it and pretend like it wasn’t real, which meant I couldn’t have conversations about my thoughts and feelings around being intersex and my experiences as an intersex person. I’ve had people date me for “cool point” within the lesbian community, so they could seem more radical and progressive. I don’t have a strict policy for myself or others on when to tell, or even if one should tell. Like I said, I don’t think you should ever have to, and the whole notion that you’re being deceptive or dishonest if you don’t is completely oppressive and just another way of separating out those who aren’t “normal” or who challenge the sex and gender binary and heteronormativity. There are also a lot of intersex conditions that are not “visible”, either because they’ve been erased by unnecessary and harmful “surgeries” or because they just aren’t a kind of condition that you can see. In these cases, most people don’t even believe we have an intersex condition. Or they might feel “let down” because we’re not the fetishized ideal “hermaphrodite” they thought us to be, and leave disappointed that they couldn’t fuck someone with a pussy and a dick. I am fortunate to be with someone that’s known me for a long time, and who was friends with me for a while before we ever got together, and because of that, she already knew a lot about my body and my history and we never had to have any awkward difficult conversations about how my body works, what it looks like, or what it’s history is, although I suspect with her, it wouldn’t have been a very difficult conversation had we had it. I’d say in general, people are reprehensible in this respect, and in my experience, cannot be trusted to handle it very well, so it’s safest to tell in a safe place, possibly a public place, if you’re not sure how a person will react.
asizzle1 asked: Are you a hermaphrodite? How does it feel? I want to know more about it! It is a huge turn on of mine...
You’re fucking disgusting. Go dehumanize someone else. Also, it’s INTERSEX not hermaphrodite you fucking cunt.
Not XX and not XYone in 1,666 birthsKlinefelter (XXY)one in 1,000 birthsAndrogen insensitivity syndromeone in 13,000 birthsPartial androgen insensitivity syndromeone in 130,000 birthsClassical congenital adrenal hyperplasiaone in 13,000 birthsLate onset adrenal hyperplasiaone in 66 individualsVaginal agenesisone in 6,000 birthsOvotestesone in 83,000 birthsIdiopathic (no discernable medical cause)one in 110,000 birthsIatrogenic (caused by medical treatment, for instance progestin administered to pregnant mother)no estimate5 alpha reductase deficiencyno estimateMixed gonadal dysgenesisno estimateComplete gonadal dysgenesisone in 150,000 birthsHypospadias (urethral opening in perineum or along penile shaft)one in 2,000 birthsHypospadias (urethral opening between corona and tip of glans penis)one in 770 birthsTotal number of people whose bodies differ from standard male or femaleone in 100 birthsTotal number of people receiving surgery to “normalize” genital appearanceone or two in 1,000 births
1 Dreger, Alice Domurat. 1998. Ambiguous Sex—or Ambivalent Medicine? Ethical Issues in the Treatment of Intersexuality. Hastings Center Report, 28, 3: 24-35.
2 Blackless, Melanie, Anthony Charuvastra, Amanda Derryck, Anne Fausto-Sterling, Karl Lauzanne, and Ellen Lee. 2000. How sexually dimorphic are we? Review and synthesis. American Journal of Human Biology 12:151-166.
We were recently asked to update these frequency figures, and a lively discussion arose between two staff members.
Why are you so freaked out by those few trans* kids whose families and doctors support them in presenting as their experienced genders yet totally OK with doctors and families forcing sex changes on children born intersex? This intersex trans person would really like to know.
