Bringing my intersex condition into the conversation always produces some interesting remarks. Many people have no idea what the term even means. If I explain, or if they know, they often times ask odd and invasive questions and have many horrible and objectifying expectations.
I’ve had one other intersex person tell me I wasn’t actually intersex because I identified as trans, and because I wouldn’t publicly discuss my condition, my operation, my genitals, and my entire medical history around being intersex. They went on to attack me, misgender me, tell me that intersex and trans were mutually exclusive, and call me all sorts of terrible things, from sexist woman hater, to poser tranny who wants to “justify” her transition (as if biological sex and gender identity are the same thing).
People often expect me to have a set of genitals that are both male and female at the same time, what they don’t realize is that this isn’t actually possible in humans, that intersex conditions aren’t just about your genitals they are chromosomal, hormonal, and secondary sex characteristics as well. They also don’t realize most anyone with any kind of “abnormal” genitals gets assignment surgery where doctors mutilate our genitals to try and make them conform to an imaginary sex AND gender binary, which have been inextricably linked by society and the medical community in order to oppress and continue patriarchy and sexism and tons of other useless mores and ideas.
If people find out that your genitals don’t look too much different from a cis man or cis woman, they are disappointed, sometimes believing you are a fraud, and even believing intersex doesn’t actually exist, that I just made it up. They are upset that I can’t be a fetish for them, because I’m not the herm or the shemale they had hoped for.
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